Aug. 27th, 2007

skysha_tranqui: (Default)
I went in to work today, for 7am. Hoping Sandra would be done with her sandwiches (she started at 4am, and normally they leave to do the delivery at 7). Unfortunately for me she still had about 3 different types to I ended up an hour behind because there was a limit on the tasks I could do while she was hogging all of the work space.

My mum and sister arrived at 10:40, I was meant to be finished by 10, I wasn't finished 'til 11:30 though. So they mainly sat there, then mum went for a walk for 30 mins so me and Katie could have a 'talk' (mum wanted me to convince Katie to talk to dad, who she's avoiding/ignoring at the moment).

When I was finished mum sat us both down and tried to force us to talk to her about how we're feeling.

Well Katie just sat there with tears streaming down her face and clammed up - tried to ignore mum & just didn't respond to her. I tried to explain that I understood why they were doing it, but that I still didn't feel it had sunk in yet. Then I started welling up.

And mum almost had a go at Katie. She's really not happy that Katie isn't talking to dad - even if just to yell at him - but she doesn't seem to get that it's still too soon for Katie to even get to that point.

Katie knows she needs to talk to him, but she doesn't know what to say, and she knows she'll just start crying if she tries, so she's leaving it be 'til she's ready.

It must be hurting dad a lot - apparently he gave mum the house 'cause he thought we'd want her to keep it more than him. Which is true. But for me that's mainly 'cause mum's not as financially secure as he is, and he hasn't been living there in spirit for years anyway. At the same time though, this isn't something you can just force Katie to accept - or to talk about even. She's just not ready.

Luckily in the middle of this breakdown I got a call from Jane. Unluckily it was 'cause her & Sam (her b*friend) had broken up that night & she was v.upset.

I tried to console her a bit, but in end I had to tell her I was with my family & why.

Then we went shopping.

Retail therapy actually works. Got all of our minds off it; plus stopped mum from pressuring us to open up about how we're feeling.

Then we had lunch at Pizza Bella, and got it cheap 'cause there was some kind of mishap and we didn't get our food for about an hour. Mum released some aggro on the waitress - "I'm angry now!" (literally said that).

And then we drove back here & they had a look 'round the house (marvelling over how clean it is) before starting off for home again.

Oh, and I got a call from Starbucks as well, when we were on our way back to the car - I got the job!

Didn't think I would have 'cause they would only be able to offer me an 8-hour minimum contract for the time being (due to my hours being inflexible - thanks to current job & my unknown uni timetable), but apparently they really liked me.

So that was a nice piece of news to end the day on. They want me in tomorrow to get through the paperwork, so I'm working 4am-8am, then going home, showering, going back to sandwich shop & hanging about with Jane, getting lunch, then in to Starbucks at 2pm for I-don't-know-how-long, then home & bed.

Will really need to put some work in on my essays too though - I can't keep postponing them if I'm going to be working so much. :/

Rang Jane once they'd left, and she was still in tears.

Apparently she went out with her b*friend & some friends last night, they then went home & she stayed out 'til 5am. Then when she got in she found a note from her b*friend, breaking up with her. So she drunkenly went 'round his, let herself in, probably did some drunken crying, and ended up sleeping next to him.

She's still hungover, being ill if she drinks too much water or tries to eat anything, and is just a wreck.

Thing is, from what she says they both still love each other, it's just that he thinks they'd be better separate.

She thinks it's 'cause she's been really stressed and emotional all summer (she's got housemate problems, in that one of them hates her & has turned her best friend against her, and then launched a campaign to get her kicked out the house - niiice, not. So she's been staying at his house a lot, and I guess going to him with all her problems), and he's just had enough.

They're meeting up on thursday to talk things over again, and she hopes they'll be able to start over. They've been together a year, and are really in love so she thinks they should at least give things another try. Then he's going home for 2 weeks, and she's going to ask for a week off & go diving with her family in Edinburgh - which I think will do her real good even if things don't work out.

She said she felt a bit better, knowing I was going through something as well - and I feel the same. It's weird though; today felt fine, was just when mum was pushing that I started crying; well and when I saw Katie crying.

So I think I'm now in a nice little denial stage.

I know, understand and accept it in my head, but 'cause I'm not there it's not affecting me emotionally anymore unless I see/talk to my family or start thinking about it in depth.

So yeah, sounds a bit like repression to me.

It also helps that I have other things to worry/complain about - can do a nice bit of sublimation then.

Okay, well I need to get some stuff ready for Starbucks, and then shower & get ready for bed, so I'm gonna go.


skysha_tranqui: (Default)

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