(no subject)

I'm so screwed!

Just got back from my meeting with my supervisor, and actually it wasn't too bad - didn't get told off for changing my mind (again), and she just read through my notes (which were basically bullet points of what I've written so far, but she probably took them as brainstorming), and then suggested some more books I should read.

She also warned me to make sure my project actually says something at the end of it, and that this matches my conclusion - apparently a few students last year crashed on their project essay because at the end it didn't match what they said they'd set out to study. :/ Good thing I haven't yet written my introduction!

What did strike me though, was that there is no physical way I can get this finished before I'm meant to be going home. I just don't think it's possible. Not if I want to get a good mark on it, which I really need now that I've given my assessed essays up for being crap.

And to top that off I walked in on Steph & Lianne talking about me in the kitchen when I got home.

I assume they were talking about me anyway; it was one of those moments where people go suspiciously silent once you walk in the room. I didn't even notice it to begin with, but then Steph asked me how my meeting went & when I just said there's no way I can finish it in time neither of them said anything. Plus, I'd bought some cereal and milk on my way home, and as I was turning around to put stuff away I kept seeing Steph looking towards Lianne, who hadn't even said hi to me.

Then, when I'd finished putting it away (which took oh-so long *sarcasm*) I was stood with my back to the fridge facing both of them (Lianne was stood by counter, eating, with her back to me; and Steph was sat at table eating grapes), but instead of starting a conversation they both ducked their heads down and started reading through the notes they each had with them. I waited a beat, took a glug of my drink, then left the room, and as soon as I left I heard the two of them start talking together.

And finally, the postman dropped off a letter just after I'd got in my room, I heard Steph say "oh it's for Sarah, sorry Lianne I know you wanted something". Then Lianne came upstairs saying bye to Steph, and then I'm not sure if Steph came upstairs or not, but one of them slid the letter under my door. Wtf?!

I am seriously confused. The only thing I can think of that they could have been bitching about me is to do with Sam. She's not back yet 'cause she got hit in the face by an emergency light or something - some big metal thing fell down & smacked her basically. And funnily enough I'm glad she's not back. Also funnily enough, I found it quite funny to hear that this had happened.

I found out on fb that it had happened (she tagged me on a note she'd written about it - letting people know the whole sorry affair), but I pretended I hadn't read the note 'cause there's no way I'm going to suddenly act all concerned about her when I think it's pretty clear I can't stand the girl anymore. So I just left it alone.

Then Sam rang the house to let us know why she wasn't back yet, and Steph told me. I asked all the usual questions, 'what?!', 'how?', 'what's a security light?', and it was fine.

A couple of days passed and she still wasn't back, and she rang again to let us know she was going to be back even later 'cause she's got a concussion. Steph told me after I'd come back from a day in the library, fair enough, but then Steph kept looking at me, so I chuckled.

Obviously I didn't mean it in a mean way, and I don't even find it funny - though the accident does sound ridiculous - but Steph knows how I feel about Sam, and she kept looking at me like she was expecting some gushing concern, or, laughter, and so I think that's why I sniggered.

I really think that's a natural reaction to that kind of news though - especially when you can't see the person so all you know about their injuries is what you've heard. And I think the only reason Steph and Lianne were so disapproving is 'cause they know that I don't like her, and so they construed it be more callous than I actually feel.

Sam's making it hard for me to feel sorry for her though; she's done another note on fb, and this time explicitly asks people to send her sympathy flowers, on the promise that it will grant them the title of BFF forever. Whoopee.

I'm not even sure that's what's wrong with Lianne & Steph, but it's all I can think of; and to be fair I think it's a reasonable assumption.

I really want to go home.

(no subject)

Screw it; I can't concentrate when I stress too much!

I'm giving myself afternoon off, then I'm going to the library for night. :p
(just found a jdrama about crime-fighting vampires; no way can I stay depressed in the face of that! Esp' when I think they may have a tomato-obsession...)